Oh! Smack that!
by xanimejunkie
Summary: Scene from The Mummy 3. Edward, Bella, and Emmett are pursuing James the mummy in a truck filled with fireworks. Will this end well? No, not really... EdwardxBella. Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**My corner:** well, I watched The Mummy 3 the day it came out about a month ago. And, I've been freaking out about Twilight on the same day. This is what happens when the two decide to coincide with each other. Enjoy!

* * *

**Edward**: Rick O'Connell

**Bella**: Edie

**Emmett**: Jonathan

**James**: Dragon Emperor

**Laurent**: General

**Oh! Smack that!**

Edward and his wife Bella run out from the gates of the British museum, frantically looking for any sort of transportation. Why? Well, Edward managed to raise another mummy. A truck drives by and Edward points his gun towards the driver. The man yells in Chinese, but we can all understand the universal language of, "Holy shit! I don't want to fucking die!"

"Hey man, all we need is the truck!" demanded Edward, "There's a mummy on the loose!"

Bella goes to the passenger side and pushes the man out." I'm driving."

"I love a woman who takes charge," grinned Edward.

Bella puts the truck in reverse, back up, changes it back to drive and does 60 MPH after the mummy. Meanwhile, Edward is doing his best to stay as calm as possible and to hang on to dear life.

"Bella! What the hell are you doing?" Edward cries out, "Where are going? WHOA!"

"Hey, it's called driving," snapped Bella, "And I'm chasing after that mummy you set loose! Oh, I see Emmett!"

Right when Bella said that, James the mummy, careens his horse driven carriage onto the side of Emmett's car. It leaves a very long "scratch" and the door is left hanging ajar.

"What the hell man?" Emmett cries out in pure agony, "My car!"

Bella drives to the side of the car. "Get in, brother."

Emmett points a shaky finger towards Edward, "This is all your damn fault!"

"Get over it," sighed Edward, "just get in the back and hang on tight."

Back on to the chase, yet again. James is still speeding off in the chariot with, his second in command, Laurent shooting at them.

"Shit man!" complained Emmett, "Oi! You stole a fireworks van!"

"So?" asked Edward incredulously.

"Man, what are you an idiot?" (**A/N: no, but well, here he is. Sorry!)**

Emmett takes a lighter from his left inside coat pocket, ignites a Roman candle and chucks it James's head. It made contact on the right side of the cranium and it blew up. Inside, it showed the rotten, mummified monster, and it looked more pissed off than it already was.

"Dude! Nice job!" cheered Edward.

"Well, I am the brains of the family,"

"Whatever," snorted Bella, "Oh my God! GET OUT OF THE DAMN WAY YOU IDIOTS!"

For some odd reason, all the Asian people thought it was a great idea to jump in front of a moving vehicle. Bella swerves the truck to the left and drives through a wall.

"Holy crap!" screamed Emmett and Edward.

"Hey, ever heard of a shortcut?" giggled Bella.

"Bella, I've never been so turned on, until now," yelled Edward.

"Aw, you're too sweet Edward!"

"Guys! I'm right here!" gagged Emmett. "And Edward, please that's my sister! Save the gushy smex stuff for home and out of public view!"

"You're just jealous you don't have—"

"MUMMY!" screamed Emmett.

"Wha? OH SHIT!"  
"Opsie, my bad!" apologized Bella.

The shortcut Bella did take them to the mummy. However, it positioned the truck to be in the direct pat of the chariot. Laurent started to shoot at them again, but falls backwards as soon as Edward shoots at James's left arm. His arm regenerates and a rather large ball of fire forms. James then chucks it at the truck in front of him and something explodes. (**A/N: anyone guess what it is?**)

"Dammit! That guy never gives up!" screamed Emmett.

"Emmett!" screams Edward, "Your ass!"

"What about my ass?"

"Your ass is on fire!"  
"Oi! Cullen! Are you checking me out or something?"

"No! IT'S ON FIRE!"

Emmett looks back and starts to scream like a little girl. "SMACK MY ASS! SMACK MY ASS!"

"Hey, what the hell's going on back there?"

"I'm smacking your brother's ass!" replied Edward, "Dammit! Stay still!"

"Smack my ass Edward! SMACK MY ASS!"

* * *

**The End**

o.o: Yea,… I've had that scene stuck in my head for ages. And well, I've be obsessing over Twilight (more than usual) since August 1st and this happens.

Alice: Hehe well, it was rater interesting.

Esme: I wish someone got that on tape.

o.o: hey, what kind of person would I be if I didn't get it on tape?

Bella: sweet! I was seriously wondering what was going on back there.

Rosalie: Man, some husband.

All the girls: review please! .


	2. CONGRATS OBAMA

Sorry, not an update:

CONGRATS OBAMA FOR WINNING THE ELECTION!!!!!!


	3. Not an update For XXThEwOrLdNeEdSaChAn

To XX-ThEwOrLdNeEdSaChAnGe-XX. God... I'm so sorry for what has happened to you. I miss talking to you about random shit and laughing at your PMs. I always looking forward in reading your next updates and happy when you got a review from someone (other than me. .). Shit... it's too soon to see you go. You had so much to look forward to in the future, but I guess God had other plans for you. I'm trying hard not to cry as I write this, but it's so hard not to. I hope you're resting in peace up there and say hi to the big guy for us, okay? I hope to see you again someday!

-xanimejunkie


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